Don't Think I Don't Think About It
by RogueSyrene
Summary: Edward and Bella broke up years ago over a misunderstanding. Neither one is complete without the other.
1. Chapter 1 Edward

I own nothing, well maybe this sandwich but that's about it.

Enjoy this is my first attempt at a third person writing.

The beta work done by PTB.

Chapter 1

Don't Think I don't have regrets

He picked up his glass and swirled the liquid around before bringing it to his mouth and draining it. The bar was poorly lit, and empty. Not the place you would think to find a man like him. It smelled of cigarettes and cheap perfume, but everyone else around him seemed to be drinking to forget their problems too. The bartender never asked questions he just poured the drinks and left, it was the perfect place for him. He was alone and would be forever; his chances at happiness had been ruined. Edward didn't like to think about what had happened, but nothing seemed to help keep the memories away anymore. He was a shell of a man. The only thing left was his career and that provided little motivation to get out of bed each morning. The bartender brought his new drink, and set it front of him, the bartender had seen many broken hearts sit here and drink their troubles away, but the look in his man eyes was too much for even him. Edward looked down into the liquid; it was brown just like her eyes. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the images that swirled in his head. The sad, brown eyes looked back at him from the rear-view mirror, and, before he could stop it, the whole scene played back in his mind like a movie.

_"Bella," he said "I don't understand how you can be so naive."_

_"I'm not naïve, Edward. I just have a little faith in people!" She started to raise her voice; she hated to be talked down to. He knew that all too well, he was trying to get her as mad as he was. _

_Edward was sick of her friend "Jake." Jake had been in love with Bella almost as long as he had. Bella was too blind to see it. She always saw the best in people and could never bring herself to think poorly of anyone. Jake was always trying to break them up, telling Bella lies about Edward. He acted like it was out of concern for her, when really he just wanted his chance with her. Edward was sick of Bella always believing Jake. He constantly had to reassure Bella that the lies weren't true. _

_Jake went to far this time, telling Bella that Edward cheated on her with Jessica Stanley._

_"If you have so much faith in people then have faith in me! I love you, Bella; I really do, but I can't take this anymore," Edward yelled back at her._

_Edward had loved her since the first moment he saw he. He was five years old, and she was wearing the most beautiful blue dress he had ever seen. While running around with the other kids, she looked so delicate, so fragile, until he watched her turn around punch Mike Newton in the face and make him cry. To this day he didn't know if it was the punch or the dress that made him love her._

_"Don't you yell at me, Edward Cullen!" Bella's face was red; she was mad now._

_Good, Edward didn't think he should be the only one who was mad__._

_"Why would Jake lie? How could you do this to me, to us? I love you." Bella was really yelling at him now._

_Edward laughed almost manically. "Why? Why! WHY? You really have to ask why he would lie. He's in love with you! He always has been. All he does is fill your head with lies, Bella. Lies. I am done with this! It's him or me. Choose."_

_"What do you mean, choose? He's my friend, Edward, I'm not just going to stop being friends with him just because you say so." Tears pooled in Bella's eyes. Edward felt bad but she always cried when she was mad._

_"Right, so him then-" Bella started to say something, but he interrupted her and said something he would regret everyday for the rest of his life. "That's good because we wouldn't have lasted anyways. I don't think we were ever really in love to begin with; we where just fooling ourselves. No one find their soulmate at five years old. Good bye, Bella, I'll never bother you again."_

_Edward got in his car, slammed the door, and drove away. He glanced back only to see Bella fall to her knees, tears streaming down her face. _

Edward signaled again for another drink. He wondered if Bella ever thought about him the way he thought about her. He would give anything to go back and fix that moment, to just take back what he said, but he couldn't. He had brought this on himself, and the only thing that seemed to help the hole in his heart was the whiskey. Usually the whiskey dulled the memories but tonight it only seemed to reinforce all them and all the mistakes he had made.

_"But, Edward, you have to." His sister Alice pleaded with him. _

_"I can't, Alice. I can't watch her be with somebody else." Edward's voice was thick with emotion as he turned his head so Alice wouldn't see him cry._

_"Then say something, damn it! Go to her, and tell her you still love her. I know you do and it kills me to see you both like this." Alice grabbed Edward shoulders and started to shake him. Bella was Alice's best friend._

_"What am I supposed to say, Alice? It's been six years; she's has moved on. I mean she's getting married!" _

_"I don't know, but this might be your last chance to say something, to do something to let her know. Fight for her. Win. Tell her you regret it, and that you are sorry that, you still love her. You can fix this if you try; I know you can." Alice grabbed his face and brought him down to her eye level. "I know you're scared, and I know it will be hard, but ask yourself if she is worth it, if you are worth it?"_

_"You don't know what you are talking about. She will never forgive me. I crushed her; I broke her heart, and the only thing I can do for her is keep my promise and never bother her again."_

_"No! You don't know what you're talking about! You don't have to look in to her lifeless eyes. She still loves you, I know it. She's just waiting for you, because she's too proud to come crawling back to you." Alice was upset. Edward could see the concern etched on her face. "Look, I have to go. Bella will be wondering where I am. I am her maid of honor after all."_

_Alice turned to go but before she did she put a card down on the table and said, "Just think about it." With that she was gone._

_Edward was stunned. Bella's eyes were always so full of life and dancing with excitement. How could Alice call them lifeless? And why would Bella come crawling back to him? This was all his fault. _He was jealous. If he hadn't drove away from her that day, maybe they could have fixed it_. _

_He walked over to the table where Alice had set the card and picked it up. It was a wedding invitation; it was for Bella's wedding. He picked it up carefully, tracing his fingers over the raised script of her name, and he began to sob. Edward never let himself cry about this before. It felt good; it filled the void. He thought about Bella, and how much he still loved her. He thought about how he had hurt his family in the last few years, his refusal to go to Alice wedding because he knew Bella would be there. He thought back to what Alice had said. This really was his last chance. After today she would be married, she would belong to someone else. He looked down at the invitation; the wedding was on the other side of town and was about to start. He would never make it in time, but he was sick of living with regrets so he grabbed his coat and took his last chance._

Edward was walking home from the bar, the whiskey didn't help tonight. He hoped he was drunk enough to at least fall into a deep sleep, he remembered too much already tonight. Edward unlocked his door and walked in. His apartment was far from homey, and it was empty just like he was. He walked in to his room. He attempted to undress himself. The whiskey didn't help the memories but was making buttons blurry and hard to handle. He finally just gave up and crawled into bed. He closed his eyes and hoped for sleep, but it didn't come.

_He was ready to stop any minute now, but he couldn't. Edward had to keep going; he had to get to her before she belonged to someone else. He could finally see the hotel. He pushed harder, and he needed to move faster, he couldn't lose this chance. Alice finally made Edward see what he wouldn't admit to himself; he still loved Bella Swan. She was the first girl he had ever kissed, and he wanted her to last. _

_Since the day he left her crying behind his car, he didn't have a reason to live. Now running towards the hotel to stop Bella's wedding, he felt so alive. He reached the door of the hotel and swung them open dramatically. He glanced around the lobby until he saw the sign pointing to the Swan/Crowley wedding. Edward followed the arrows while trying to slow his heavy breathing and clam his nerves. When he rounded the corner he noticed that doors to the room were open._

_I've made it, he thought. _

_As Edward drew closer, he didn't see anyone else in the room; it was empty. The wedding was over; he was too late. Edward felt his body go limp as he fell to his knees. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to the feeling in his chest. The hope he had been feeling moments ago only served to worsen the blow, and his tears flowed for the second time that day. Edward glanced up into the mirrors across the room. The irony wasn't lost on him that he looked the same as Bella did in his rear-view mirror all those years ago._

That had happened weeks ago, but the memory was still fresh in his mind. He had tortured himself with what ifs. If only he had been faster. If only he had realized sooner. If only he had never drove that car away.

He almost reached the point of sweet unconsciousness which was his only relief from the crushing feeling in his heart. He could feel the pain drifting when he heard a knock at his door. No one came to see him anymore; he couldn't imagine who it would be. He reluctantly swung his feet over the edge of his bed and stood up. He was angry at whoever had interrupted his only escape. With his face set in a scowl, he flung open his door and then green met brown. Bella. She was still the most beautiful thing Edward had ever seen. His mouth dropped open, and his eyes went wide. Bella smiled at him while tears welled up in her eyes. She looked to his eyes and saw the broken man he had become. Neither one said a word.

Bella lick her lips and cleared her throat, and then she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You were right." Bella's voice broke on the last word and tears finally made their way down her cheeks.

A/N

I hope you all liked it so far, I need to get this story out of my head before I can finish WTFB. Chapter 2 is coming soon this is a shorter story five chapters tops.


	2. Chapter 2 Bella

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I huge thank you to PTB for the beta work; me and commas are not friends.

Chapter 2 Bella

She sat alone in her almost empty apartment; she had gotten rid of most of her things because she thought she wouldn't need them anymore. She sighed, thinking how glad she was that she had kept her bed. She couldn't sleep, not that she ever really slept, but this was different. The hole in her heart was bigger; she was as empty as her apartment. All she did was eat, work, and pass out when her body couldn't function anymore. Her work was really all she had. She wrote story after story, giving her the characters the happy ending she had robbed herself of. Whenever she met a fan they always assumed she lived this fabulous romantic dream; she wondered if they would still love her books as much if they knew the truth. She lost the only man she had ever really loved, and it was her fault. Her mind begins to wander back to the day she wished she could forget, but was forever burned into her memory.

_Edward laughed almost manically. "Why? Why! WHY? You really have to ask why he would lie? He's in love with you! He always has been. All he does is fill your head with lies Bella. Lies! I am done with this! It's him or me. Choose."_

_"What do you mean, choose. He's my friend Edward I'm not just going to stop being friends with him just because you say so." Tears pooled in Bella's eyes, she couldn't help it the thought of losing Edward was too much._

_"Right so him then." Bella had started to say something but he interrupted her, something she would never forget. "That's good because we wouldn't have lasted anyway, I don't think we were ever really in love to begin with, we were just fooling ourselves. No one finds their soul mate at 5 years old. Good-bye Bella, I'll never bother you again."_

_Bella watched as Edward got in his car and peeled away in a cloud of dust. She fell to her knees and cried. She knew he was angry with her, but she never thought he would say something so hurtful. She sat in the driveway crying for what felt like days, and thinking about all of what Edward had said to her. She couldn't believe that Jake would lie to her like that, but on the other hand why would Edward? He may have said some hurtful things to her today but he had never lied to her before. Nothing was making sense anymore; she heard the heavy footsteps kicking dirt coming towards her. Jake, what was he doing here she wondered._

_Bella rubbed her arm in front of her eyes to try and hide the tears. _

_"What are you doing here?" she asked. _

_"I heard about you and Cullen," he stated. The way he had said Cullen didn't sound right to Bella. He seemed to spit it out like it was a bad word or something. Had he always said his name that way? Bella was even more confused now. She shook her head, trying to clear it when she felt Jake's hand wrap around her arms and pull her to her feet. Bella looked at Jake through her puffy eyes, and what she saw didn't seem right. He was smiling at like he had just won some sort of prize. Bella's anger boiled up again. Her heart was broken, she had just lost the love of her life, and he had the nerve to smile at her like that. Before Bella could open her mouth to tell him to wipe that smile off his face, he grabbed her face and kissed her. Bella froze. She mashed her lips into tight line and tried to push Jacob off of her. When he finally realized that she wasn't kissing him back, he stopped. He pulled back to look at her and she slapped him as hard and she could. She used the shock of it to finally push him off of her. Her hand stung like hell, but she was too mad to care. _

_"Damn it Bells, what was that for?" Jacob asked while rubbing his cheek. _

_"For kissing me, you asshole!" she yelled at him. "Why would you do that? That was gross! It was like kissing my brother!"_

_The smile vanished from Jake's face. "But Bella, you and Cullen broke up. We can finally be together, now he's out of the way."_

_Bella felt everything around her slip away as things began to click into place for her lifting the confusion. Jake had lied, and Edward, oh Edward, how could he ever forgive her? She had ruined everything. No wonder he left her. She wasn't good enough for him, and she didn't deserve his trust or love. She was began to cry again as everything came back into focus when she noticed Jacob was shaking her. _

_"Bella?" he said. Bella looked at him and spoke in a very calm and even voice._

_"Jacob Black, you lied to me about Edward. I was a fool to believe. I hope you are happy with yourself because I will never be with you. I can't even stand the site of you. I love Edward there is no one else for me, and you ruined that. Never speak to me again."_

Bella sighed and wiped the tears away from her eyes. Thinking about that day always hurt. She pulled her knees to chest to try and fill the hole inside her but nothing worked it only got bigger over time. She had ruined everything she would give anything to have that one day back to do over. It was the biggest mistake that she had ever made. She had almost made an even bigger mistake, but luckily for her she had Alice. Alice was her best friend, but she was also Edward's sister. Bella knew that their break up had hurt Alice. Edward wouldn't even come to Alice's wedding because she was there. It only proved more to Bella that he would never forgive her. Alice never gave up on her though, and she saved her from making an even bigger mistake.

_"Alice, oh thank god you're here!" Bella said as Alice slipped into the room with her. "I was freaking out without you here. Is my hair okay? My make-up?"_

_"It's fine Bella, you look beautiful." Alice took in the vision that was Bella all dressed in white, but even the expert work of a make-up artist couldn't erase the shadows below her eyes. Her eyes always made Alice sad. __Her eyes had a dead look even when she smiled, as though the fire within her had been extinguished__._

_"I can do this, I can do this, I CAN do this!" Bella was chanting this to herself. Alice loved Bella but couldn't let her do this. _

_"Bella," Alice said gently, "you don't have to do this." _

_"Alice, we have been over this. I'm doing this because I want to. Tyler is a real nice guy. I want to marry him. He's a good provider, and he treats me well." _

_"But you don't love him do you?" Bella closed her eyes and willed away the tears that were pooling there. _

_"I'll grow to love him," she replied. _

_"Why are you doing this Bella? It doesn't have to be this way if you would only talk to Edw..." Bella cut her off before she could finish._

_"Don't do this to me Alice. Don't talk to me about him on my wedding day!" Bella shouted at her._

_"No, Bella, I am going to do this. Somebody has to! Marrying Tyler isn't going to prove that you're over Edward!"_

_Bella was crying now, leaving pale streaks on her face where her make-up washed away. _

_"What else am I supposed to do then, huh? Live the rest of my life alone, with this big hole in my heart? I can't do it anymore, I don't want to be alone anymore, I'm sick of it. Nobody meets their soul mate when they are 5 years old!"_

_"I can't tell you how to run your life, Bella. What I can tell you is I'm sick of watching two of the people I love most in this world waste away in front of me. Look in the mirror Bella, I mean it, now take a good long look at yourself." Alice pointed to the mirror behind Bella. Bella turned around and did as Alice asked. __She could see the pallor of her skin where the make-up had been cried off, the dark shadows under her hollow eyes, and the thinness of her body_._ Bella gasped. Who was this broken and scared girl staring back at her? She couldn't see herself in mirror any more. Alice came up to stand beside Bella. _

_"You see it now, don't you?" Alice reached into her purse pulled out a photo, and handed it to Bella. Bella looked at the picture. It was of her and Edward. She ran her fingers over the outlines of his face. It had been so long since she had seen him. She had missed him so much. She moved her eyes away from Edward and focused on the picture of herself. There was a stark contrast between the girl in the picture and the one in the mirror._

_"Oh Alice," she sobbed, "how did I get so lost?" Bella paused and pulled the veil off her head, and held it in her hands. "I still love Edward, I do. I'll never love anyone but him. We made such a mess of everything." Alice pulled Bella into a tight hug."Oh god What about Tyler, What am I going to tell him? I can't marry him. It's not fair to either of us." _

_"Shh, it's okay Bella. I'll tell go get him, and then I'll stay with you. Don't worry, everything will work out in the end."_

Bella called off the wedding, and Tyler was sweet and understanding. He really was a great man and she didn't deserve him. Three weeks later, Bella was still sorting through the mess. Her mother had called just to say "I told you so" and Tyler's mother had called to yell at her and call her names .Alice urged her to go o Edward. Bella had thought about what Alice had said for a long time. Was it possible? Could Edward still love her? Would he forgive her for her stupidity? Could he fill the hole in her heart? Sighing, Bella got out of her bed and went to the living room. Since she and Tyler were going to move in together, she had gotten rid of most of her things. She grabbed her purse and plopped down to the floor. She pulled out the picture of herself and Edward that Alice had given her on her wedding day. They looked so happy so in love, could they get there again? Bella wondered how old the picture was. She flipped it over to look at the back, to see if it had been dated. Instead of a date she found an address and a message from Alice. _Go to him. _Bella looked at the address; it was in Seattle, only about 30 minutes away from her own apartment. Before she could think any more Bella found herself throwing her jacket on and grabbing her keys.

She drove as fast as she could to the address Alice had left for her. She didn't want to think anymore she just wanted to feel, she wanted to be with Edward. She looked at the clock. It was late, but she wasn't going to let that stop her. If it was true if he still did love her they had wasted enough time.

Bella's hand was shaking as she knocked on the door, nothing. She knocked again, still nothing, but she was determined to see him. She knocked again, and she finally heard rustling sounds coming from inside the apartment. The door flew open in front of her to reveal a very angry looking Edward. His clothes were crumpled and his shirt half undone; he looked tired and worn. His green eyes met her brown ones and she smiled at him, even half asleep he was glorious. Her eyes began to tear at the sight of him. She looked into his eyes and saw that he was broken too. Neither one said a word they just stood and stared. Bella licked her lips and cleared her throat, and then she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry Edward, you were right." Bella's voice broke on the last word and the tears finally made their way down her cheeks.

Chapter 3 be coming soon and will pick up where chapter 1 and 2 left off.


	3. Chapter 3 Face to Face

**I own nothing. So this is un beta but it's been like 2 years so here you go I might have another chapter or 2 for this story. If you would like to beta this just let me know I could use the help or if you find any error also let me know. **

**So enjoy.**

**Chapter 3**

Bella stood in front of Edward crying all he could do was blink. Was he still sleep? This had to be a dream, but Bella never cried in his dream. Edward took her in this was real because his Bella was never this pale and skinny, his Bella had fire in her eyes and smile on her lips. Edward tentatively reach out and touched Bella's shoulder. He let his eyes meet hers again that was all the invitation that she need. Bella threw herself in to his arms and sobbed even harder. Edward was shocked but quickly tried to calm her down. He lead her in the living room and they sat on couch. Bella tried to pull herself together but it was so hard seeing him again and know that all the hurt could have been prevent if she had just listened.

Edward couldn't take it anymore he had to know what she meant and why she was here.

"Bella, What are you doing here? How did you even find me?" he asked.

"Alice, she gave me the address." she replied.

"That answers that question but why are you here? and what do you mean it was all your fault?" he needed answers.

"I just needed to see if what Alice said was true and to tell you that I'm so sorry I never listened to you back them. You were right about Jake and.." Bella's voice wavered at the end as she tired not to think about that moment that forever changed their lives.

"I'm sorry I just..I should have listen to you and I'm sorry it wasn't for me we would still me together." she finished.

"Bella, I'm just as much to blame as you are I shouldn't have gotten so jealous and storm off like that I knew that you loved me we should have talked about. Leaving and never contacting you again wasn't right either."

"Oh Edward.." Bella threw her arms around him again and hugged him close. She breathed in his scent memorizing every detail him.

Edward reveled at the feeling of having Bella in his arms again. She fit so perfectly against him he never wanted to let her go, but he knew he had to regardless of her apologize and his own Bella belonged to someone else now.

Edward pushed himself away from Bella and gave her the best smile he could muster.

"Well now that we have that all settled it's late you should get home you husband is probably worried about you."

"My Husband?" Bella asked.

"Alice told me about the wedding I'm sure.." Edward choked up bit"..you made a beautiful bride."

Bella's eyes welled with tears was he being distance because he didn't love her anymore or because he thought she was married.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella?"

"I need you to answer something for me and please tell me the truth if the answer is no I'll never bother you again. I have to know do you still love me?" she asked.

Edward was quiet while he thought about his answer after all years of hurt and liquor, trying to forget her. He never once stopped loving her, he gave his is whole heart and he could never take it back. He couldn't lie to her again. Edward looked down so he wouldn't see the pity or rejection in Bella's eyes.

"I never stopped loving Bella, and I don't think that I ever will. I gave you my heart when we where kids and I never got it back" Edward shoulders slumped as he fought his tears, he could cry again later when she was gone, forever.

"Edward, please look at me." Bella said.

Edward raised he eyes to see Bella holding up her left hand a faint tan line around her middle finger.

"I.. I couldn't do I called off the wedding. I didn't love him, there has only ever been one man for me and it you. Edward I love you so much it hurts, I never stopped."

Edward looked at the empty finger and for the first in a long time he felt something. It was hope Bella still loved him. Bella inched closer to him the touched her hand to is cheek and he did that same to her.

"Kiss me Edward." she said as she closed her eyes.

Edward cupped her face and slowly bought his lips to hers.

When their lip met it was a soft sweet peck followed by another and soon it was hard to tell where Bella stopped and Edward began.

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward and threw herself in to his lap. The kisses became quite heated and Bella felt Edward's arousal they had to stop.

"Bella as much as I have dreamed about this happening I think was need to talk about something first."

"Your right I'm sorry I'll come back it's late you are probably tired." Bella said gathering up her things and fixing her clothes.

Edward grabbed her wrist.

"If you think I'm going to let you walk out that door you're crazy. Yes I'm tired but I don't want to something another minute of this life without you. Come on."

With that Edward lead her this bedroom and they laid down. Bella snuggled in close and sighed. Soon they were both in a deep dreamless sleep. They didn't need to dream tonight being together again was better then any dream they could have had.


End file.
